What is the definition of success? Is it to build an empire, to leave behind a legacy, to score that high-value contract, or for some, perhaps success can be measured by the impact one makes on the community and humankind? Honestly, I'm not sure, and I do not have the answer. Perhaps the question is best answered by asking why. Why success?
Some say you can't have success without failure. And therein lies the question: why is it that failure doesn't get talked about as much as success? Why do we shy away from highlighting our failures on public forums? Why are we so desperate to be seen through our successes? Why do we not celebrate failure the way we celebrate success?
And therefore in that spirit, I want to spend some time talking about failures. My failures to be specific. You see, ever since my schooling days, I was never known to be a top student with perfect or good grades. I had my fair share, if not an overwhelming number, of failures during my formative years. I recall the anxiety that built up each semester when the school returned our report cards and books, and seeing row after row of results written in red ink. A stark reminder of how I had fallen short: not good enough, not up to par, room for improvement. Some of these early memories have stayed with me to this day. I would like to think that I've learnt to handle failure better now, embracing it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and reflect on where I could have done better. But inevitably still, that same anxiety stirs within me, and a quiet voice comes whispering the same words: 'not good enough... not up to par...'
I suspect this has much to do with the kind of society we live in today, one where success is almost always celebrated over failure. We get thumbs ups, likes, and follows for our wins. We want to be associated with people who are successful, because that sense of fellowship makes us feel a little successful too. After all, who doesn't want to be surrounded by people who are thriving?
Failure has humbled me, shaped me, and made me far more interesting and genuine than my successes ever could.
And yet, here I am, wanting to talk about my failures and share them openly. I have often failed to see the good in people. Years spent navigating adulthood have quietly shaped me into a skeptic. I have failed to fully understand a situation before jumping to conclusions. I have failed to keep my temperament in check, at times coming across as impatient, even nonchalant, in dealing with my own temper. I have failed to spend enough time appreciating the people around me who are genuinely trying to make things better. And equally, I have failed to accept that some people simply don't want help, and that no amount of effort or worry will change that.
At the end of the day, I embrace all these failures as part of what defines me. They have humbled me, shaped me, and if I am being honest, made me far more interesting and genuine than my successes ever could. It is also something that I feel as parents we should share more with our children and let them know it is perfectly ok to fail. I am glad to share them openly, and in doing so, I hope to shine a light on success's distant cousin, the one we don't talk about enough, but probably should.